The Diary of Jessica Hamby
by NymphadoraxLestrange
Summary: What would happen if baby vamp kept a diary? Read and find out! Possible adult themes in the future. Just a bit of fun writing, nothing too serious. Review please!
1. Chapter 1

June 12th, 2009.

Dear Diary,

Oh my GOD. You will never guess what happened. I'm a fuckin' vampire! WOOOO! The only bad part is that I have the worst maker _ever_. Seriously. Bill won't let me do anythin'! He won't let me kill anybody, and let me tell you, there are a _lot _of people I would like to kill. Dammit! I have to drink this TruBlood stuff instead.... it's disgustin'! TruBlood? More like TruShit! Ugh. So lame. But he took me to this awesome vampire bar called Fangtasia and now I'm stayin' there with Eric and Pam, who are actually cool vampires, unlike Bill. Eric is so cute! He's not being very nice to me though... always telling me to shut up! Pam is a bitch. She says I'm annoyin'. Oh well, at least I can actually have real blood instead of TruShit! Wow... I still can't believe I'm a vampire! How badass is that?!

v-v Jessica

**Thank you for reading! Remember, this isn't to be taken seriously, it's just for fun and a laugh! :] Review please! Next chapter will be coming shortly. x**


	2. Chapter 2

June 13th, 2009.

Dear Diary,

What the actual fuck. Eric and Pam took me back to Bill. They said I'm extremely annoyin'! This is just ridiculous. Bill is SOOOO not Eric. He's makin' me recycle! What the hell?! Vampires are supposed to kill, not save the environment. He won't let me have a cell phone. I have a fuckin' bed time. And now I'm back to drinkin' TruShit. Ugh. But I discovered that if you mix two parts O negative and one part B positive it tastes less like ass.... more like paint. The only good part about livin' here is that Bill's shower is fantastic. OH! Oh my god! That reminds me! Bill has a girlfriend. A _human _girlfriend! Her name is Sookie... honestly, what kind of name is that? She seems nice though. I think she was a bit freaked out at first... thought me and her precious boyfriend had sex. EWWW! I wouldn't touch him with a ten foot pole. After her minor spaz attack, she did tell me she wants to get to know me better, which I thought was nice. Nobody has ever really wanted to get to know me better. We're gonna have a girls night tomorrow night, as long as I give her and Bill tonight to themselves... I'm guessin' they're gonna have crazy sex all night. Yuck! I'll just hide away in my hidey hole. Yeah, I have to sleep in a hole in the basement. Crazy, right? Compared to Fangtasia, this blows.

v-v Jessica.

**Thank you all for the lovely reviews! :] I really appreciate it! Keep them coming and the next chapter will be up shortly! xxx**


	3. Chapter 3

June 14th, 2009.

Dear Diary,

Remember how I said I thought Sookie and Bill were gonna have sex all night? Yeah, I was right. EWWW! I could barely sleep 'cause I heard them goin' at it. It was disgustin'! I'll just pretend like I didn't hear them and go on with my life. Well, undead life. And lemme tell you, undead life isn't as cool as it seems. Well, it isn't when you have a maker like Bill. I wish Eric or Pam had turned me... they're not entirely lame. At least at Fangtasia I could do more excitin' things. All these humans go there lookin' for sex with vampires...fangbangers, I think they're called. Well, Eric let me feed on one of them! _So_ much better than TruShit. I think I got a little greedy though, 'cause Eric yelled at me to stop and lemme tell you, the man didn't look too good after.. oops! What can I say, I was hungry! And I actually got to sleep on a couch in a lightproof room there, not in a dirt filled hole! Wooo! I wish they hadn't brought me back to Bill. He needs to pull the stick outta his ass and get a sense of fun! At least I get to hang out with Sookie tonight. I've never really had a girls night before...I didn't have a whole lot of friends when I was human... Daddy never liked any of the girls I was friends with. He's such a dick. Anyway, I wonder what me and Sookie are gonna do? Watch a movie? Paint each other's toenails? Or are there things you're supposed to do when you hang out with vampires? I'll just have to wait and see, I guess. I'm excited! I'll write later and tell ya what happened Diary!

v-v Jessica.

**Thank you all for reviewing as always! :) Keep the reviews coming! I'll try and have the next chapter up by later tonight or early tomorrow. x**


	4. Chapter 4

Dear Diary,

Oh my god. I did somethin' real bad. I was just feelin' so sad all day... I missed my momma and daddy and my little sister Eden so much. I thought I wouldn't, but I guess you don't know what ya got till it's gone. And then to make matters worse, I turned on the TV, 'cause I thought it might cheer me up, but then I saw my parents on TV! They looked so upset that I was gone... I honestly didn't think they'd care that much. So then Sookie came home from work and I told her I saw my parents on TV and she was real nice about it. Oh, and guess what? I cry _blood._ Isn't that disgusting?! You think my lovely maker would've told me about that, but nooo, I just have to find out for myself and nearly shit myself. Anyway, back on topic! At the time I thought it was a smart idea to ask Sookie to drive me by my parents house, just so I could look in and see them for the last time. Well, these vampire impulse control issues are a bit of a problem. We got there, and I saw Eden in the window, and before you could say "vampire running at the speed of light" I was across the street and ringing the doorbell! And let me tell you, Sookie was pissed off... she tried to drag me back to the car! But when Momma answered the door, my heart would've skipped a beat if it was still beatin'. I almost cried, but y'know, that would've been a dead giveaway. So me and Sookie went inside and Eden brought us sandwiches while Momma called Daddy... man, I missed Eden! I was always such a bitch to her, but she's such a sweet kid. When Daddy came home everything went wrong. _Ugh. _You'd think after not seeing your daughter in weeks you'd be deliriously happy, right? Wrong. He fuckin' grabbed me and started screamin' at me! What the fuck! I went a little crazy then... okay, I went a _lot _crazy. God, I fucked up so bad. If Bill hadn't burst through the door then, I would've killed my own father. I can't believe myself! Bill and Sookie are so pissed off at me. I'm surprise Bill didn't drive a stake through my heart. Bein' a vampire isn't all it's cracked up to be...

v-v Jess

_**So remember that part about me promising to have this chapter up fast? That didn't go too well. I had major computer troubles, major writers block, and then I got grounded. XD I'm sorry guys! I will try my hardest to not be so ridiculously long getting up the next chapter. Review please! xxx**_


End file.
